09 February, 2010

Apparently I cannot boil an egg

It's a standing joke in my family that I'm lousy at keeping house and so they find it hard to believe that I could be a somewhat decent hostess. I had a friend of mine staying over once while my mom was also staying with me and using my most nonchalant, casual, everyday-use voice I asked my friend what she would like for breakfast. You know, since the options at my house are as varied at the brunch at the Taj. And she thought she would make my life easy by asking for what she assumed was the easiest - a boiled egg. Now, I've never boiled an egg in my life - mostly because I don't like the yolk in a separated form. My mother knows this but instead of being a good parent and offering to save my reputation, she stands there making conversation with my friend with the biggest grin/smirk on her face. So I'm like "Um, how many minutes should I boil it for?" and my friend says "4 minutes". How am I supposed to know it should be on the stove for 4 minutes after the water begins to boil? I just put it on the stove for 4 minutes and very nicely presented it to her. My mum, very innocently asks why I'm not serving it on an egg holder, fully aware of the fact that I don't own an egg holder because I. Don't. Boil. Eggs.
My mother watches with utmost interest and curiosity as my friend breaks open the egg only to find it all gross and gooey. It's not my fault that eggs don't come with instructions or that people did not stay satisfied with scrambled eggs and simply had to go and invent the boiled egg. And in my family, they like replaying such stories and asking me if I've boiled any eggs for guests lately.

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